hello goodbye.

so my little sister went away to college yesterday. i cried like a child. then i pulled it together and thought about how many amazing memories she's going to have and how college was hands down one of the best times in my life and will be in hers, too. it was only trumped by having zoe and then there comes an entirely new joy with family but seriously... college rules. so i reminded the sad part of my heart to be happy for her. i'm just going to miss her being around, that's all.



dear emma,

maybe i never told you how much you mean to me. i remember the day you were born, we were living with granny in florida and i woke up and ran into mom and dad's room. they weren't there and their bed was made. i ran out to the living room and granny was sitting there, sipping her coffee, obviously waiting for me to wake up. she said, "the baby is here... do you want to go meet her?" i was seven years old. i couldn't be more excited to meet my new little sister. i remember driving there, heart pumping, walking through the hospital hallways and finally to that room. i walked in and saw mom holding you. i got into the bed and was in awe. i fell in love with you in that moment. being seven years apart may have made it a little bit more difficult for us to relate growing up, but i wouldn't have had it any other way. you looked up to me and i loved you with everything that i had.


[this was in my fake tan, fake nails, and apparently fake smile phase. you loved me anyway.]

i'll never forget the many memories we shared and fun we had, the trips we took, and "traditions" we started. but mostly, the laughter. you make me laugh like no one else. the other day mom was talking about you and me, reflecting on our relationship and our past. she was saying how the way we dealt with stress was to laugh. that is so true. i can think of many difficult times in my life, this summer being one of them, where for those goofy moments with you i forgot about everything else. through our countless inside jokes and made up languages and voices, we have a world where nothing else matters.



ever since zoe was born, i've seen something even more amazing in you. i know that you want to work with kids when you're done with school and i can say with every fiber of my being that you were born to do that. you are incredible. you just get them and have a unique ability to relate and help them learn, all while having them feel so connected and safe with you. it is your gift and i can't wait to see what you do with it. thank you for falling in love with zoe the moment you met her, just like i did when i met you, and being the best possible aunt you could be. you'll never know how much your support and love means to me.



so, whether you want me to or not, i'm totally knocking on your dorm room door and hanging out with you sometime (soon). it will be fun! i swear. remember when you visited me at college?


[don't ask about the face.]

i hold all of the memories that include you close to my heart and i can't wait for many, many more. good luck on this next part of your journey. i will be cheering you on all the way!

i love you SO much,

ali