in a moment.

so today i experienced my first earthquake. and so did zoe. we were sitting in the living room. zoe was playing with her friend bailey, my friend christy was holding her baby, and i was sitting on the couch. all of the sudden, the house started to shake. in those seconds the world slowed and a lot of stuff went through my mind. first, i picked up zoe. i stared at christy. she said, 'earthquake.' i tried to remain calm, for zoe. because if she wasn't in the room, guaranteed i wouldn't have been so stoic. we just kind of stared at each other for awhile, waiting for it to stop. feeling each other's racing pulses and nervously laughing. trying to keep it cool for the kids. we tried to use our phones and they didn't work and i'm not going to lie, for a minute i thought it may have been some kind of bomb and terrorists had hacked into the cell phone lines. clearly i watch too much 24. in those moments that felt much longer than they were i thought about the threat to our physical safety. the fear ran through me that something could happen to zoe, or to me, or any of the people i loved and how we'd handle that. and in those moments, i just thought, please, for zoe... don't let anything happen. it was a scary moment as a mom. to not really know what is going on or when it's going to stop or what it means, to feel helpless and scared and trying to stay grounded, no pun intended. not cool.

so after 30 seconds or so we felt it stop and looked to the internet to confirm that it was in fact an earthquake. it was interesting to see the flood of updates on facebook from all of us east coasters who aren't use to that. my favorite was probably this photo, which made me laugh my ass off.

and also realize how lucky we are. no one was killed, there really wasn't much damage, it just made us all think. which is good sometimes.

during the quake, my mind went immediately to my aunt and uncle who just moved back to the states from new zealand. they lived in christchurch when that terrible earthquake struck and they lived (thankfully!) through all of that devastation. they were back here where they probably thought they wouldn't have to feel anything like that ever again and unfortunately had to probably relive a little bit of that initial scare again. that made my heart hurt. but after the ground stood still and we had the information we needed to help us feel secure, things returned to life as usual... but i can't help but think: that jolt of fear is a good reminder of how lucky we are. lucky that we don't have to hear gunshots that scare us under our beds, or bombs that make us wonder if we'll live through another day, or earthquakes that terrify us and actually do devastate a place that we love. or all the many ways that people are forced to live in fear like that much more often. my heart was with them in a greater sense today.

we are safe. and we are lucky.


for the record, luckily zoe thought the earthquake was "silly" and i didn't have to process her panic along with my own. minutes later, she was running around like nothing happened and reminding me to be in the moment. i felt gratitude. i painted her toenails, per her request, and added flowers. i felt gratitude. i put bandaids on her boo-boos and felt good knowing that everything that ailed her could be fixed with a dora bandaid and a kiss. i felt gratitude. i made a peace sign as a symbol of how i was feeling and noticed her in the background doing the same, but with both hands. multiplying peace. i felt gratitude. i looked down and saw (one of) our happy, healthy pets. i felt gratitude. i remembered the magnet i picked up at the store this morning before any of this happened. it said: 'be kind, no exceptions' - and it made me smile. i felt gratitude. as the sun was setting, i went on the deck and felt the warmth on my face with a healthy, perfect girl by my side. i felt so much gratitude.

cheers to things that make us think. i'm happy that it was just a few moments of fear that were transcended into feeling grateful for all the things that are not broken.