we did have a fun play date this morning. my mom's best friend from high school has a son exactly zoe's age and he is so sweet. he asked to play with his mom's phone and all the sudden i heard monkey preschool. i got all preschool giddy like, he plays monkey preschool too?! and zoe runs over and wants to play on my phone with him. and there they sat, mesmerized. talking about how "they matched." and these two year olds know how to use an iphone better 98% of the population - guaranteed. and we laughed. and talked about how we try not to let them play too much. and how they were like the jetson's. and alison called it the fuss buster. and we laughed some more.
but it was so very cute.
(notice the bobby pin that zoe put in her own hair. it cracks me up.) and i am so in love with concentration faces.
and then they left. and the house was still and quiet. and we did a lot of nothing. i thought about how it would be cool to get bundled up and go dance in the rain. but i wasn't really feelin' it. plus zoe told me it was too cold out there, so there we sat. and snuggled a bit and let the rain fall.
we were laying together on the couch and i was kind of dozing in and out. i looked over and she had heavy eyelids and was doing what i call the slow blink. she also does it on command when she's trying to be extra cute. but she was breathing slow and deep and it was beyond nap time and she was next to me and i thought maybe we'd catch this glorious couch nap together while the rain poured against our window. we were under our green blanket [that i am about to start having an unhealthy obsession with. i bring it to bed with me sometimes and i might have to take it when we go away like a baby because it's just that cozy] so i closed my eyes and was enjoying this peaceful moment; i woke up a couple minutes later and zoe had snuck into the kitchen and was eating, get ready for it, straight hot chocolate powder mix with marshmallows. she calls them mallows, and tells me that she needs them. i tell her she can't just eat cocoa powder and freeze dried mallows, because it's not healthy. but i promised we'd make hot chocolate later. mother of the year award. oh my gosh.
so i proceed to call jesse and tell him the hot chocolate mix story and then go on about my funk. bitching about anything and everything and mostly being mad at myself that i couldn't shake it today. he tells me not every day is perfect and that i'm doing a really good job. to not be so hard on myself and that maybe i should blog about it. i was like this day is surely not worth blogging about.
changing the subject entirely, i need new brakes in my car and since jesse is working late tonight my mom offered to take me to drop off the car, and said we could come over for dinner while we were at it. which was amazing because i wasn't so much in the mood for cooking. although, i still might be full from last night's meal. [best enchiladas ever].
so i got in my car, all frustrated and wound up and taking myself all too seriously. and i slipped king of limbs into the cd player and suddenly it all just started melting away. amazing how music can do that. and since zoe decided to eat cocoa powder instead of take her nap earlier in the day, i got to watch her slow blink very quickly turn into a really deep sleep through the rear view mirror. she made one last attempt at staying awake with a quiet i'm tired, mom. i told her she should take a little nap and she looked at me like okay good, thanks. and passed out instantly. i took the long way and drove in the slow lane and soaked up all of this peace that was coming. the contrast of the grey foggy sky and the dead tree limbs and being the only car on a couple of windy roads that i love + perfect music for my mood was really doing it for me.
and i walked in carrying zoe's heavy body and my sister was there. she smiled so sweetly and rushed over and watched zoe sleep with with giddy excitement. she held her and snuggled her and made me laugh until my face hurts. she always does and it's always so good for the soul. i love sisters. so we ate and hung out and zoe woke up and played hard and filled her tummy and we drove home again. and she fell asleep in the car again and i carried her sweet body up to her bed and she was out for the night.
i came downstairs and thought about what jesse said. you should blog about it. and then i remembered why i started in the first place. i want to really document as much as i can. even if my day kinda sucks and the weather motivates me to do one thing - curl up on the couch. and even if two two-year-olds made it look like a tornado went through this place. and all of my real feelings. but most of all, to stop focusing on what sucks and take a look around at all that i am grateful for. so tonight, i picked up my camera. left my house untouched (obviously... excuse the mess). and took pictures of things i saw that i am grateful for. so here they are, in no particular order.
the fact that i still haven't killed my valentine's day flowers and i really love them. and my chalkboard in the kitchen that always reminds me of what's really important.
me + jesse. and i loved how these were sitting just like this in the bathroom. and i love the balance we strike.
how zoe's fingerpainting masterpiece was sitting there weighted down by an apple. and mostly her teeny tiny little bites.
a productive play session. and leaving the mess for another day.
how these two followed me every where i went taking pictures, and quickly found a comfy spot.
she picked these out. and i love how on rainy days they are just laying around and how excited she gets to put them to use.
some seriously heavenly conditioner. i love a good conditioner. (i'm stretching here).
& i'll never get tired of this. never ever ever.
goodnight world...
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your words make me smile.